Last night was a must anticipated episode of the RHONJ. I read the tweets live as they were happening, read recaps and comments and I have come to this startling conclusion. We identify with the cast of RHONJ for a number of reasons. Some good, some bad, but we identify with the characters demonstrated and respond according to our own experiences.
Now, I will come right out and say from the very first episode I have had a problem with Teresa. I can honestly say, that while Teresa's behavior is an extreme, I have had friends and family members similar to Teresa and I cannot tolerate her behavior.
So, the main highlight of this episode that everyone seemed to be waiting for is, Joe Guidice speaking on a phone to what is assumed to be his girlfriend (he is married to Teresa), calls his wife a few words women do not appreciate being called starting with a B and a C. We then see Teresa rushing over to Joe to demand to know who he is talking to and he lies and starts speaking in Italian. She is desperate to... I don't know, maybe to pretend everything in the marriage is still okay and tries to get her husband to have sex with her in front of everyone else on the trip, in the vineyard and he says he doesn't want to. Oh, yes, this is with full mic and camera watching.
To say Teresa is desperate is an understatement. She is past desperate, she has moved on to delusional, narcissistic, passive/aggressive, aggressive, manipulative, resorts to lying, holds grudges, brings up past issues to reinstate angry feelings, and has a weird 'attraction' to her brother. Yes, I must also add her parenting skills are extremely poor, her relationship with her husband is at minimum verbally abusive, she cannot have a real relationship with anyone without her being the center of the relationship at all times and that unfortunately upsets the abilities of others to actually tolerate her for any length of time.
That is not to say that Melissa, Kathy, Jacqueline, Carolina, Albie, Christopher, Chris, Al, Joe Gorga, Joe Guidice, Ashlee, Lauren, and Greg don't all have their own issues and oddities. However, Teresa is the one that demands the spotlight on her at all times.
Now, Melissa, whether her "thank you Jesus" are serious or not, at least she makes reference that there is someone higher in the world than she is and after the Teresa show, it is nice to see. I don't care if she can actually sing, has 'fake' breasts, or is secretly trying to bring Teresa down, Melissa has demonstrated in numerous conversation attempts with Teresa to educate Teresa that she may in fact contribute to the problems she has with everyone. Now, Melissa is telling Teresa the same things that Jacqueline told Teresa and Caroline told Teresa and Kathy told Teresa. She is telling her them in a more direct but 'nice' approach. I like that. You can understand the message Melissa is giving Teresa even if Teresa cannot.
Now, Jacqueline is that type of person that wants to like everyone and wants to give everyone a chance. Look at the abuse she received from her daughter. Yes, Ashlee treated her mother like crap and while many believe that Jacqueline is a horrible mother, at 18 Ashlee should have been in college or on her own. If she could not treat her mother and step father with respect, then she would have been told to leave immediately. Where she ended up was up to her. So, I don't know how many parents would give Ashlee so many chances to straighten up, but if you think you are old enough to tell your mother off, you are old enough to be a big girl on your own. Jacqueline has shown us the same issues with saying goodbye to Teresa. Yes, we are tired of seeing her cry all the time, but come on even if your child (21) deserves to be given a swift kick in the butt on the way out due to the lack of respect, it is hard to say goodbye and to suddenly stop worrying about her child. She also has guilt about what she may or may not have done over 21 years that caused Ashlee to think she can treat her mother like this and get away with that behavior but I am sure she is a mother who is in great pain that the relationship she wanted with her daughter is not what she has. OH MY GAWD, that is the same thing that Jacqueline said to Teresa, this is not the relationship I wanted, I want you to tell me what is going on instead of me having to find out in tabloids. Folks, what she is saying is, if I am your best friend, why can't you tell me how you feel about rumors (or truth) that I read. A real friendship and not a manipulated friendship. The episode where Teresa takes Jacqueline into the RV for apple pie is demonstration of this 'fake' relationship. Jacqueline is visibly upset and all Teresa cares about is herself.
Caroline is not my favorite person on the show either. I do like her more than Teresa but I also have to respect her dowdy, angry, menopausal way of looking at life. Come on, her daughter is acting up on the trip, going on yet again about all the weight, her brothers not loving her enough (Teresa and Lauren have really weird relationships and expectations of relationships with their brothers), and other issues facing her and acts like a two year old. While I may not call my children what Caroline called Lauren, I would call them out for their ugly behavior. I mean seriously, grow up. Caroline is the type of person who can look at a situation and call it pretty accurately even if we do not like the manner in which she does. I agreed with Caroline's opinion about Ashlee, Lauren, and Teresa. I would like to think that I would begin using more tact, but seriously, the crud has gotten ridiculous and obviously tact doesn't cut through these people.
Kathy is nice, but her eyes bug out too much for me sometimes. However, I find her to be prettier than Teresa by far. So, when Melissa spoke about how beautiful they both looked, I thought, that is nice because you look at them that night and think, yes, they do look as nice as they can, and that is good, let them feel good knowing that, good job Melissa. However, it appears Melissa upset Teresa because someone else looks as good or better than Teresa. I don't know if I could have remained quiet after the toast Teresa gave. It was mean. It was passive/aggressive towards Kathy. I mean, Teresa had just complained again about the recipes in the cookbook and proving that she does hold grudges, by bringing it up AGAIN. I honestly feel that Kathy did not say that those are her mother's cookies in a mean or spiteful or passive/aggressive manner. I mean come on, Teresa do you actually believe everyone is out to get you all the time. Well, maybe they are because you instigate a lot of trouble between EVERYONE!!!!
Joe Gorga, Joe Guidice, and Richie Wakilie, enough with the displaying your genitalia. Enough of the talking about your genitalia. None of you are attractive and/or hot. Seriously, do you really think every woman is going to be thrilled to hear once again about your genitalia, sex life, and all that other crud you spew every week. NO! And Albie and Christopher, seriously stop encouraging them from making fools of themselves. They obviously do not have the social skills, self-control, or any other ability to monitor their own behaviors. They do not need the encouragement to act as if they are from the wilds (Sorry to anyone who lives in the wilds and have better social skills, self-control and any other ability to monitor their own behaviors). Out of sheer respect to others (the owners of the vine-yards) stop already. This brings me to Chris.
Chris, you are a sweet man. You show great self-control and often are the 'babysitter' of the idiots you are around. I mean, Christopher getting so sick before the food show after being told to take it easy, Joe and Joe playing with the sculpture in the cave room, and not being able to shut up before stupidity runs out of their mouth with no filters, you are a great man. But, your wife needs you to assert some back bone once and a while when things go out of control. You backed down too often with Ashlee. Yes, you are just the step dad, but you needed to do it for Jacqueline must sooner. But kudos for going on camera and telling the world Jacqueline has a beautiful body. While we do not see it as much as we see Teresa's body in various stages of undress and disgust, Jacqueline shows the public that beautiful women are not always perfect women. Let us not even begin to discuss how not perfect Teresa's body and face are. I find her repulsive.
Okay, so it looks like I am talking directly to Chris while talking about the others, I am going to leave it because I really think he is the only one besides Melissa that would be able to hear and understand the truth.
But the subject of this post is how RHONJ is an example for us. And here it is, we can learn how to identify the same characteristics in the people around us and determine how we will react to them. We can see who we have had problems with and the best approach to resolving the conflicts if both parties desire to resolve the conflicts. If you encounter a person like Teresa, run, run away as fast as you can, because as you can see, if she remains unstopped the problem escalates. Much like a bad smell in the house that remains no matter how many times you try to cover up (make excuses) it will not disappear. You actually have to take care of removing the problem.
I understand that Bravo is making a huge amount of money from the RHONJ and Teresa's antics are part of the reason as so many viewers will argue team Teresa or team Melissa, haters of Caroline and lovers of Jacqueline and so on. I know there are rumors of a possible spin-off for Teresa and so on. Just an observation Bravo, Jon and Kate plus 8 did not last long when it became Kate plus 8. Part of the reason RHONJ has increased in viewership is because of the crap Teresa pulls with everyone, a spin-off may not be the answer.
As to the increase in viewership and Teresa's roll in it, I believe many people watch to see Teresa fall from 'New Jersey Grace'. I know that I will be hard pressed to feel overly bad for Teresa. I mean the desperate actions of her last night makes me want to tell her to smarten up and quit the show. Forcing a man to have sex with you after he calls you those names and talks to a girlfriend in front of you and your family and friends/not friends calls to question your ability to face reality let alone be on a reality television show. I feel very sorry for you Teresa, save yourself from the path you are on, jump now and live a quiet life, with your girls, working a real job, within a real budget, and with those who can tolerate you and your children's horrible behavior.
Taking care of the written word,
dannielyn
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