My Baby is Home from College

Yesterday I was so excited that my first born baby was coming home from college for the first time since school started back up. I love having my boys around and I hadn't seen Tony in a while. It was a fall break and as he is sleeping on the sofa in between watching Top Gear on BBCA, I believe he needs to have a break from school.

He is doing good at school, but having some bad luck. See on Thursday night he lost his keys. He has not found them and sadly, his spare car keys were on the missing key chain which poses a great and expensive problem. See, $183 and four hours later, he had a new key for his 1974 bug. He also has to pay nearly $100 to replace the keys and/or locks in his apartment.

I have yet to remind him that I told him not to put his spare car key on the same key chain, but he knew what he was doing. A part of me is happy that he learned a pricey lesson to listen to mom and a part of me wishes he did not have to learn that lesson.

This kid is very loved by his father and me and his younger brother. Andrew loves it when his brother comes home. There is a definite change in his personality when Tony enters the door. We could tell just how much they missed each other by the amount of hitting and slapping they were doing on our way to eat and back home again. I guess that is a brother thing. I never really enjoyed it when my older brother hit me growing up. So it must be a boy thing.

Taking care of the written word,
dannielyn

My 19 Year Old is in College

My 19 year old son is almost done with his freshman year of college at UNC Charlotte.  He has done remarkably well for his first year.  I am not talking about his grades.  He has done well with his grades, better than he did in middle and high school.  But he has also done well in the rest of freshman year.  

He achieved the Freshman 15. For many that means, as a freshman you gain at least 15 pounds.  My son has lost 15 pounds.  He always did things the opposite of what he was expected to do.  It is not because he didn't receive enough food.  I make sure that he has plenty of foods to eat.  My son decided to become a vegetarian.  He has walked to plenty of classes and plays lacrosse on the school's club team.  

He has a roommate and a very small dorm.  He has kept is a lot cleaner than he had any of his rooms since he was little.  He has learned how to do college style laundry.  Only wash what really needs to be washed and wear some things more than once. Just wish he would have practiced that all those years I did his laundry.  

He has been able to rely on others instead of always thinking he needs to be in charge of everything.  When he came home for Christmas break his car died.  He is saving up for a car while in college.  Can we say how proud he is for this and so are we.  

He has made a variety of friends, hasn't partied with drugs and alcohol.  He does not smoke and he participates in dorm activities.  This is good as they are trying to get the students off on the right foot by providing substance free activities for the students.  

He has only skipped a handful of classes.  He turns in his homework.  He shares with others the bounty he has and offers his room to those who need it.  He is a great kid and a wonderful young man.  

I was afraid that he would be struggling in college as I was afraid I had done too much for him.  He is able to take care of what he needs to take care of and still needs me to help him out on a few occasions.  I have to admit that I love this about him.  He is independent but still needs his mom.  

Yesterday he found out he was accepted to transfer to another school.  Only thing was, his younger brother wants to go there without it being a school his brother went to.  He wants to be independent of his brother.  I certainly hope my youngest wins this point.  But I am not sure that I am ready for my 16 year old to be old enough to go off to college.  It was hard for the first one, it will be worse for the second one.  

Taking Care of the Written Word,

Dannielyn

 

Aint Like It Used Too Be!

Before I begin with the blog post, yes I know that Ain’t ain’t a word, so please anyone who is a grammar police, I did it on purpose.

My son went to prom over the weekend and had a senior skip day the day before prom and will be graduating in a few short weeks from high school. He will be attending University of North Carolina Charlotte to major in PoliSci or Political Science. He would really like to become a lawyer and go into politics. Now our son has been a declared Republican for several years and was devastated when John McCain and Sarah Palin did not win the election. He wears his McCain t-shirt with pride and argues the republican side of all issues very well.

Oh, he is into facebook, Ipods, touch phones with internet access and loves to hang out with his friends. Even though we did not force him to get a job, he at one time had three jobs and was busy with sports, homework, friends, work and every once in a while was able to sleep.

I look back at what my last year of high school was like and it was vastly different than what his last year is like. Now, I graduated in 1987 and simply stating it was in the 80′s is enough to say that it was different than his would be in 2010. But it was more than that.

My senior year of high school I left home in May before my graduation. It was not really a choice but a necessity. I had suffered from sexual abuse from my father since I was three years old. I suffered through it because I did not believe I was strong enough to stop the abuse or deal with the aftermath of the situation once I did something to stop it. I finally found an inner strength when my parents talked about having a foster child, preferably a little girl come stay with them. I couldn’t stop the abuse for myself, but I could for an unidentified little girl who shouldn’t suffer from what I did.

I was without my family at graduation, I was pressing charges and going through the legal system my last month of high school. I applied to colleges and obtain financial resources on my own. I had to arrange my transportation (luckily for getting down there my mom did take me but we had very little to say to each other and it was very stressful). After my first year of college, I had to mail all my belonging back to Wisconsin from Alabama and take a bus ride back home that was literally 24 hours straight. I was awake the whole time as I was afraid I would be robbed or worse by the strangers on the bus.

I was all alone in college and if it wasn’t for the kindness of strangers from the time that I left home in May of 87 and during my college experience I wouldn’t have been able to survive.

I have been worried that my son was not learning how to stand on his own in regards to getting his financial packages in order and all of that good stuff. But I am certain that the remaining three years he will have to be more involved. There is nothing bad about protecting your first born a little bit longer than necessary before sending him out on his own for the first time. I certainly would have loved to been protected more by family, but I cannot say thanks enough to all those who took me in and cared for me in a way that touched my heart in deep hidden places.

Senior year for my son ain’t like it used too be for me and for that I am eternally grateful to God.

taking care of the written word

dannielyn

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