A Lady of Strength, Proverbs 31 Series part Three

Back when we were little girls pretending to find the man of our dreams and planning our beautiful wedding, we had no idea just how hard marriage was really going to be. We thought it was beautiful clothes, fun activities, deciding to have a baby and ta-da here was our beautiful baby with beautiful hair and never making a sound except for what the pull string made the baby say.

Imagine our surprise when we found out that marriage often is boring, hard work, struggles, and our children, if we are lucky enough to be able to have them. Our children are nothing like our little dolls we played with and care for so tenderly.

Take a few minutes to write down what your expectations of marriage and motherhood and then write down what you life is really like right now. Are you surprised by your thoughts and feelings regarding your expectations and your realities?

In Proverbs 31, verse 10 in the message starts off “a good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds”. The first verse already left me feeling a little hopeless. Who can find a good wife? I asked myself, why I would want to take any time and become an excellent wife if no one can find one. That is the human and selfish side of me. I had to really look hard into my heart and ask myself what the writer was really saying to me. What did the writer want me to experience or take away from the verse?
I had determined that the writer was telling me that I needed to hear the statement clearly. I was not going to be an excellent wife just by being a wife. I needed to take those words and hide it deep into my heart. I needed to believe those words with my whole being. I cannot be an excellent wife just because I am a wife. I need to study and pray and strive to be the wife my husband could call excellent.

I needed to be determining what the qualifications are that would deem me to be an excellent wife. I know that in the upcoming verses I would be receiving instructions on how the Lady of Proverbs 31 was perfecting her role as wife, mother, Christian and community member. But right now, I needed to accept that becoming a Lady of Proverbs 31 was a lifelong, day in and day out, 24/7 process that I needed to take on. I don’t know if I am strong enough to do that process all on my own, but I willing to try. I am willing to take what I need from those verses and pray about how to apply to my life those principles. I am willing to look deeply into my heart and look at the shortcomings I suffer. I am willing to redirect my thoughts and my deeds and move them closer to the path I am to take.

Taking care of the written word,

dannielyn

http://takingcareofthewrittenword.com
http://dannettfreywrites.webs.com

A Child's Success, A Parents Pride

How much do we have to do with our child's success in life? I mean we teach them to do many different things, we teach them right from wrong, we teach them to read and we teach them to cook, clean and work with money. We teach them responsibility, accountability, and we teach them to be nice. But how much do we have to do with our child's success in life?

Our children have to find their own way in life but as we instruct them to be a certain way, do they follow that way?

I began their school careers telling them that they needed to set aside time to study each day and find a great learning environment in which to study. They currently don't have those study habits. They do have very good grades, are very intelligent, but their success isn't because I enforced the rules of when and where to study. Their success in school is because I set the groundwork and I let them (to some extent) feel the responsibility of their choices.

I know for certain that I can not take credit for their success, I can only say that I have tried to do all that I can do. It is ultimately up to them to take what was given to them and make something of their lives.

I feel comfortable with this as I know this is how things are suppose to be done. How? This is how God has done it with me. He has taken many different routes to share with me what I need to know and what I need to be doing. It is up to me to bring into fruition what God wants me to do, what I am suppose to do, or what needs to be done.

It is up to me to accept responsibility for what I do with the information and whether or not I am able to follow through with what God wants me to do. Have you? Have you accepted responsibility for what you do? Have you accepted responsibility for what we need to do with the information that God has given to us? If not, when?

Struggling to become a Lady of Proverbs 31
Dannett

A Teenagers Mom

I have to admit that as a mother of a teenager, I have had to do less parenting than when they were younger and it is a lot easier to parent a teenager than it is a toddler or primary school age child. Yet, there are less problems and disciplining that I have to do.

I have to admit that I love my boys so very much. But I was strict with them; bedtimes, snack schedules, types of snacks, cleaning their rooms, learning to do chores, homework, manners, treating others with respect, and so much more.

My oldest son in Kindergarten would spend forever getting out of the school because he was always talking to others and being kind. While that was good that he was being kind to others, he held up the teachers and well, me and his brother and the children I cared for in my daycare. So, Tony, his teacher and I spoke one day and I told him that if he didn't start getting ready to leave school quickly he would lose privileges at home. I asked his teacher to remind him of the consequences. The teacher was willing to help as Tony was in AM kindergarten and she had lunch and preparing for the PM class to do before they arrived. Tony actually did very well with the setting of boundaries and found he had more fun when he got outside with the rest of his class and played before everyone left.

My youngest son had speech issues when he was younger and was due to some issues while in the womb. But anyways, Andrew was between two and three years old when this issue took place. We were at a restaurant and Andrew was being rude to the wait staff. Whether you have speech issues or not, being rude is not acceptable. He was taken to the bathroom with his father to "discuss" the issue. He came back and was told to apologize to the wait staff. He wouldn't. Another "discussion" took place. When he finally apologized for being rude, the wait staff was surprised. No other parent had ever made their child apologize for being rude.

We had the same "issue" take place two more times in two different restaurants. Same process took place, but after the third event of rudeness, Andrew was no longer rude to wait staff. Still isn't, he says please, thank you and will talk to them in many other ways than just giving orders.

My oldest son went to prom last weekend. He has a girlfriend that he was going with, but also five other girls that were in his group of friends. He drove our mini van and was a wonderful date, chauffeur and friend to all the girls in his group. I received a call from his girlfriend's mother telling me how charming and wonderful he was when he arrived. He opened the car door for her, was pleasant and gracious and wonderful.

I am a mother of two teenage boys. Both are doing wonderful in school, our youngest has gotten straight A's all year long, and I couldn't feel more blessed. I know it is due to God's direction in raising our children and because we were strict with love when they were younger.

As my oldest is about to become an adult in 8 months from now, I am looking at him not as much my son I need to parent but as my son who I am fortunate to become friends with more as time goes by.

Oh, there is a fine line between what kind of friend a parent and child can become, but I truly believe that there is much to look forward too.

I am enjoying being a mother of teenagers.

Struggling to become a lady of Proverbs 31!
Dannett

Blessings From Above

I haven't written in a while. I have been busy and while that isn't a great excuse, it is the best one that I can come up with right now.

Our family has been through some difficult times and most of them had to do with finances as most of the families here in America are experiencing. In the midst of what looked like the most difficult financial situation in a while, we were blessed.

I have been writing freelance for a while now and the money is there, just not coming in quickly enough for what we needed at the time we needed.

I can't go into many details about this as the situations we faced and the results and the...... well, it is just to embarrassing to go into all the details. I don't know if I can be tranparent enough with strangers that I can't see and have no physical relationship with at this time. It is hard enough to disclose details to those who we felt needed to know.

Thing is, no matter how transparent I wasn't planning on being with you, the truth is, God already knew all of the details. I couldn't hide these experiences, details, fears and mistakes from God during this time or any other time.

I can try to save myself from embarrassment by keeping details from you, but the end result is the same. The end result is that God knows the truth and even with the truth known, God has blessed our family more than we deserve.

I cried out to God to forgive me of my sins,
He simply said, this is how it all begins.
I asked him what he meant by those words said,
He answered, it was all planned ahead.
Confused and worried in my tears I asked, what did he mean?
He lovingly smiled looking at me and stated, the sin of man was foreseen.
My precious Son who I love so much,
Was to be the sinner's crutch.
He was to die and rise again,
So in heaven you would spend,
Eternity when you bring us in,
you heart to remove your deadly sin.
You are a child of mine, forgiven and so dearly loved,
By your Father up above.

Struggling to become a Lady of Proverbs 31
Dannett