Aint Like It Used Too Be!

Before I begin with the blog post, yes I know that Ain’t ain’t a word, so please anyone who is a grammar police, I did it on purpose.

My son went to prom over the weekend and had a senior skip day the day before prom and will be graduating in a few short weeks from high school. He will be attending University of North Carolina Charlotte to major in PoliSci or Political Science. He would really like to become a lawyer and go into politics. Now our son has been a declared Republican for several years and was devastated when John McCain and Sarah Palin did not win the election. He wears his McCain t-shirt with pride and argues the republican side of all issues very well.

Oh, he is into facebook, Ipods, touch phones with internet access and loves to hang out with his friends. Even though we did not force him to get a job, he at one time had three jobs and was busy with sports, homework, friends, work and every once in a while was able to sleep.

I look back at what my last year of high school was like and it was vastly different than what his last year is like. Now, I graduated in 1987 and simply stating it was in the 80′s is enough to say that it was different than his would be in 2010. But it was more than that.

My senior year of high school I left home in May before my graduation. It was not really a choice but a necessity. I had suffered from sexual abuse from my father since I was three years old. I suffered through it because I did not believe I was strong enough to stop the abuse or deal with the aftermath of the situation once I did something to stop it. I finally found an inner strength when my parents talked about having a foster child, preferably a little girl come stay with them. I couldn’t stop the abuse for myself, but I could for an unidentified little girl who shouldn’t suffer from what I did.

I was without my family at graduation, I was pressing charges and going through the legal system my last month of high school. I applied to colleges and obtain financial resources on my own. I had to arrange my transportation (luckily for getting down there my mom did take me but we had very little to say to each other and it was very stressful). After my first year of college, I had to mail all my belonging back to Wisconsin from Alabama and take a bus ride back home that was literally 24 hours straight. I was awake the whole time as I was afraid I would be robbed or worse by the strangers on the bus.

I was all alone in college and if it wasn’t for the kindness of strangers from the time that I left home in May of 87 and during my college experience I wouldn’t have been able to survive.

I have been worried that my son was not learning how to stand on his own in regards to getting his financial packages in order and all of that good stuff. But I am certain that the remaining three years he will have to be more involved. There is nothing bad about protecting your first born a little bit longer than necessary before sending him out on his own for the first time. I certainly would have loved to been protected more by family, but I cannot say thanks enough to all those who took me in and cared for me in a way that touched my heart in deep hidden places.

Senior year for my son ain’t like it used too be for me and for that I am eternally grateful to God.

taking care of the written word

dannielyn

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http://ladyofproverbs31.blogspot.com

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A Teenagers Mom

I have to admit that as a mother of a teenager, I have had to do less parenting than when they were younger and it is a lot easier to parent a teenager than it is a toddler or primary school age child. Yet, there are less problems and disciplining that I have to do.

I have to admit that I love my boys so very much. But I was strict with them; bedtimes, snack schedules, types of snacks, cleaning their rooms, learning to do chores, homework, manners, treating others with respect, and so much more.

My oldest son in Kindergarten would spend forever getting out of the school because he was always talking to others and being kind. While that was good that he was being kind to others, he held up the teachers and well, me and his brother and the children I cared for in my daycare. So, Tony, his teacher and I spoke one day and I told him that if he didn't start getting ready to leave school quickly he would lose privileges at home. I asked his teacher to remind him of the consequences. The teacher was willing to help as Tony was in AM kindergarten and she had lunch and preparing for the PM class to do before they arrived. Tony actually did very well with the setting of boundaries and found he had more fun when he got outside with the rest of his class and played before everyone left.

My youngest son had speech issues when he was younger and was due to some issues while in the womb. But anyways, Andrew was between two and three years old when this issue took place. We were at a restaurant and Andrew was being rude to the wait staff. Whether you have speech issues or not, being rude is not acceptable. He was taken to the bathroom with his father to "discuss" the issue. He came back and was told to apologize to the wait staff. He wouldn't. Another "discussion" took place. When he finally apologized for being rude, the wait staff was surprised. No other parent had ever made their child apologize for being rude.

We had the same "issue" take place two more times in two different restaurants. Same process took place, but after the third event of rudeness, Andrew was no longer rude to wait staff. Still isn't, he says please, thank you and will talk to them in many other ways than just giving orders.

My oldest son went to prom last weekend. He has a girlfriend that he was going with, but also five other girls that were in his group of friends. He drove our mini van and was a wonderful date, chauffeur and friend to all the girls in his group. I received a call from his girlfriend's mother telling me how charming and wonderful he was when he arrived. He opened the car door for her, was pleasant and gracious and wonderful.

I am a mother of two teenage boys. Both are doing wonderful in school, our youngest has gotten straight A's all year long, and I couldn't feel more blessed. I know it is due to God's direction in raising our children and because we were strict with love when they were younger.

As my oldest is about to become an adult in 8 months from now, I am looking at him not as much my son I need to parent but as my son who I am fortunate to become friends with more as time goes by.

Oh, there is a fine line between what kind of friend a parent and child can become, but I truly believe that there is much to look forward too.

I am enjoying being a mother of teenagers.

Struggling to become a lady of Proverbs 31!
Dannett