Our Boys, Success in Education, Success in Life

Andrew was inducted into the National Honor Society in November 2011 at North Henderson High School. We are very proud of our son who seems to be able to understand and do well in his classes all throughout his school career. Even in high school, he has been able to remain at the top of his class and well, we would love to take all the credit, but we know that it is in no small part Andrew and the collection of great teachers that he has had the fortune to encounter throughout his educational pursuits.

Tony is in his second year of college at University of North Carolina Charlotte. He is mid-way through his sophomore year and is at a junior level standing in his Political Science and English double major with a minor in History. Yes, it is obvious that I am slightly proud of my son. Just this weekend we received notice that Tony was nominated for the National Society of Leadership and Success at UNCC. We are thrilled to know that our son, who has always shown leadership skills even way back in first grade is being recognized for this natural quality.

I just wrote in a previous posting about friendships and what the group of friends you hang out with in school says about you. Tony and Andrew have been in the midst of many different students and have had various interests in school. Both have shown leadership, compassion, intelligence, athletic abilities, dedication, loyalty, and humor. They have also demonstrated the ability to be human by making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. They are not perfect, but this mother feels fortunate that their less than perfectness has been so very mild compared to the problems and situations others have experienced. I know that we (dad and I) have been instrumental in this role of raising these boys to turn out as well as they have, but I also know that it has a lot to do with the role Christ has in their lives as well.

My college aged son, Tony started going to church while at school, reading his bible, and posting bible verses to remind himself of what he needs to do to remain on the right path. Did I mention he is doing this not because he was forced to by parents but because he wants to?  Yeah, that is incredible and wonderful and humbling. This young man has the opportunity to drink alcohol and do whatever else he wants as he is away from home and yet, this is the life he chooses to live.

I am not putting the boys on a pedestal. I know all too well the truth of my boys. Just ask me about the van, December 23, 2011, and the long in coming truth, taking responsibility, and influencing younger brother in the wrong manner in which to go. (Sounds bad huh? it was really only side-swiping the guardrail on a very curvy mountain road, which could have been very dangerous and deadly, not admitting it, telling younger brother to not tell, and being mad that he was caught). Dad and I had not been upset when the van had been involved in a previous accident to the tune of $14,000 and gave no cause for the situation that happened, yet our son made a mistake in hiding from the truth. The fact that both of my boys were alive matters more than the damage a side-swipe caused. Hopefully the boys will remember this point and find that the truth of the situation is more important because their lives are more important than a vehicle.

Anyways, we are proud of our children's success in education but more importantly, we are proud of our children's success in their lives, particularly their life with Christ.

Taking care of the written word,
Dannielyn

Thoughts and Ramblings about Kids and Family and Real Housewives

I sent my oldest son back to college yesterday and just in time too. He loves to do things that irritate me like not putting the beverage he just poured a glass of back into the fridge. Now, everyone knows that there is nothing worse than having a warm beverage when you are expecting the milk or lemonade to be cold. Then he leaves 'stuff' on his bed, floor, and everywhere he wandered the entire visit home. When asked to pick up after himself, he looks at me as if I was crazy. Yep, I love that boy of mine and miss him when he is gone, but man-o-man, I am so glad he goes back home.

Nonetheless, we are blessed with a great family. Mike and Tony suffered through my Real Housewives of New Jersey phase. Now between you and me, I am hoping that Teresa does not return next year because she is nothing but a narcissistic trouble maker. She has to have all the attention on her and if it does not come naturally she causes issues to develop to bring the attention back to her. She is raising four young daughters that have no idea how to behave due to the ineffective parenting and the example she and her husband are giving them. I look at my family and compare the family to the families on the Real Housewives and I realize that the problems with the families on the shows comes from the desire to have all the attention. I have to say, the only family that does not have real serious problems aired on the television is Carolyn's family. Her son Christopher has really changed as the camera has been focused more on him this season and is rather obnoxious but overall, their family appears normal. Joe from Joe and Melissa really needs to come down a few notches in his narcissism, he is well on his way to being very much like his sister Teresa, which is annoying. I wonder if they will change the title of the program to the Real Families of New Jersey since several husbands seem to need to have a ton of attention on them as well as their wives. Then Ashley or Ashlee, Jacqueline's daughter really should be kicked out of the house and fend for herself. Chris is not doing her any favors by allowing her to stay and bring drama on the house. She loves the attention and I swear if she was my daughter, the first time she called me a _ _ _ _ _ she would be out of the house and feeling the effects of calling me that.

On Monday nights, I have been watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I feel bad for Taylor, do not have a great impression of Dana (I have to announce how much everything costs so everyone knows I am playing rich), feel sorry for Brandi trying to impress others and being treated like a disease, Lisa needs to stop making out with her dog as it is too gross for words, Camille thinks too much of her body and should seriously reign it in if she is looking for another man. I mean leave a little to the imagination, the hot tub scene last season where she showed most of her body to a friend of Kelsey's and the cameras. Kyle is very much in denial about whatever it is going on with her sister. The number of phone calls that she sounded completely wasted, her odd behavior, and her avoidance of social situations. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, it could be drugs, alcohol, or it could be prescription medications causing the problems but shouldn't someone related to that show address the issue with Kim. Her quality of life is at stake as well as her reputation.

So, what does this have to do with my family. I watch these shows and I think how normal my family is. My youngest son loves his brother and they fight when they are together in a playing manner. Both my boys are slobs in their rooms, but they do not do drugs, drink, or smoke. They are doing well in school, heck, Andy was listed at the beginning of the year at 12th in his class. Both are civic minded, help others, involved in sports and other school activities. Their biggest act of rebellion to date is not putting their dishes in the dishwasher and having a messy room. I am blessed as a parent.

Taking care of the written word,
Dannielyn

Checklists to help ADHD and Autism Children and Teenagers

A child that has been diagnosed with ADHD find themselves lacking the ability to pay attention to details required to complete activities of daily living. Often the simple routine tasks are not completed independently without verbal prompts as the attention span of the child is limited which leads to frustration for the child, the parent and teachers. A child can build these crucial skills through consistency and encouragement.
Each task from each timeframe of the child’s day needs to be broken down into multiple steps in order to keep the child on track for the entire day. The checklists can include picture, words or a combination of both.

Morning Routine could include the following: Use toilet, wash face, brush teeth, comb hair, clean up sink, change out of pajamas, put pajamas into the dirty clothes, dress into clean clothes.

A checklist for chores would break down specific tasks, for an example sweeping the kitchen floor. Get the broom and dust pan from the closet. Pick up the rugs and shake them off. Place them outside the kitchen entry. Start sweeping by the pantry and end up at the kitchen entry, use the dustpan to sweep up the dirt. Place in the garbage can. Put the rugs back in the kitchen. Put the broom and dustpan back in the closet.

Checklists can also be used to track behaviors rather than tasks to complete. There are a minimum of 34 skills that a child with ADHD can be lacking in and need to focus on building up. The skills can be place in order of importance and worked on in that order. For example, the skill “staying on task” would not need to be added to the checklist as that is what the checklists are focusing on in whole. The checklist could track dealing with boredom, frustration, waiting your turn, doing good quality of work, patience, listening to others, accepting consequences, completing homework, accepting “no” answers, accepting criticism are a just a few of the skills to be learned.

The purpose of the checklists is to make remind the child to complete a task all completely before moving on to something else. This checklist process is meant to be an encouraging opportunity to mark success your child is making. It is a great opportunity for you and your child to celebrate his progress.

A Lady of Strength, Proverbs 31 Series part Three

Back when we were little girls pretending to find the man of our dreams and planning our beautiful wedding, we had no idea just how hard marriage was really going to be. We thought it was beautiful clothes, fun activities, deciding to have a baby and ta-da here was our beautiful baby with beautiful hair and never making a sound except for what the pull string made the baby say.

Imagine our surprise when we found out that marriage often is boring, hard work, struggles, and our children, if we are lucky enough to be able to have them. Our children are nothing like our little dolls we played with and care for so tenderly.

Take a few minutes to write down what your expectations of marriage and motherhood and then write down what you life is really like right now. Are you surprised by your thoughts and feelings regarding your expectations and your realities?

In Proverbs 31, verse 10 in the message starts off “a good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds”. The first verse already left me feeling a little hopeless. Who can find a good wife? I asked myself, why I would want to take any time and become an excellent wife if no one can find one. That is the human and selfish side of me. I had to really look hard into my heart and ask myself what the writer was really saying to me. What did the writer want me to experience or take away from the verse?
I had determined that the writer was telling me that I needed to hear the statement clearly. I was not going to be an excellent wife just by being a wife. I needed to take those words and hide it deep into my heart. I needed to believe those words with my whole being. I cannot be an excellent wife just because I am a wife. I need to study and pray and strive to be the wife my husband could call excellent.

I needed to be determining what the qualifications are that would deem me to be an excellent wife. I know that in the upcoming verses I would be receiving instructions on how the Lady of Proverbs 31 was perfecting her role as wife, mother, Christian and community member. But right now, I needed to accept that becoming a Lady of Proverbs 31 was a lifelong, day in and day out, 24/7 process that I needed to take on. I don’t know if I am strong enough to do that process all on my own, but I willing to try. I am willing to take what I need from those verses and pray about how to apply to my life those principles. I am willing to look deeply into my heart and look at the shortcomings I suffer. I am willing to redirect my thoughts and my deeds and move them closer to the path I am to take.

Taking care of the written word,

dannielyn

http://takingcareofthewrittenword.com
http://dannettfreywrites.webs.com

A Sick Child

Yesterday, my 14 year old came home from school and walked past me to lay on the sofa. "I am cold and my stomach hurts", was all he said. He is a naturally tanned child but yesterday he was white. He had a fever of 103 degrees. While every fever has its reasons and risks, you would have thought my child was dying. My concern was real and my son was definitely ill. He doesn't get sick often, but when he does; he gets very sick.

I know that my husband and I have been very blessed with healthy children. There are parents who have children with long term and critical illnesses who pray daily that the worst illness they dealt with is a short term virus. There are parents with children who have disabilities, life threatening crisis' and there are parents who are saying good bye to their children forever.

There is nothing more devastating then having your child suffer. To have a child ill to the point of dying is a traumatic event for the whole family. Can you ever recover from the death of a child or a child who has a lifelong devastating disability?

Yes, you can recover. By no means is it something that will be easy to do. Recover does not mean forget your child. It means you are able to see the future continuing even when your child is not there with you.

How can you see the future without your child? By knowing that the God who made us and takes us home with him can offer that same to you. You can live with the promise that God has given us, the promise of eternal life in heaven.

We need to also remember what God has been through. His only Son was sent to earth with real dangers to Him. Jesus was hunted by Kings, killing children two and under in the hopes of killing the young Savior. Jesus was hated by his own people. Jesus was beaten, whipped, and crucified. God gave his son as the savior of the people he created and his son was crucified. While Jesus was raised from the dead and seen by the people in as little as three days after he died, we can rest in the assurance that we too will be able to see our loved ones, our lost children in heaven.

Make sure your children know about the gift that God offers each and every one of us. Make sure as well that you are taking the lead on a real relationship with God. Whether you believe Jesus is your Savior, ask Jesus into your heart, or whatever the new catch phrase is; make sure the relationship with Jesus is there in your hearts and your children's hearts. Do it today if you haven't done so already.

Being a parent is a difficult job with lots of love for our children. Make sure you are ready for this responsibility in your heart as well.