Social media Pain

I volunteer my time for a local food pantry in part as their social media specialist.  I am involved in many different aspects of social media most of which was self taught.  The one important 'thing' I have learned is that social media can be a pain.  Consider this.

My 19 year old son has a twitter account.  I found out by accident when I looked over at him and saw his computer screen and there was a twitter page up.  I asked him if he was on twitter and he did his usual act when he doesn't want to lie to me so he laughs and denies what I am asking.

Being as savvy as I am about social media it wasn't that difficult to put in my son's first name and last name and try his nickname and last name combination.  I found the right combination, recognized his incognito picture by the twitter handle he used.  I read his twitter account.

Now, I must say it was tamer than I thought it would be considering he is out on his own for the first time, but there was one tweet that went out and it upset me.

It is now that I have to mention that my love language is words of affirmation.  That means, if you really want to show me that you love me, you say something nice.  If you want to wound me, say something bluntly horrible or mean.  Well, my son said something that was rather mean in my opinion.  It is due to the fact that my feelings were hurt because of my love language that the words are not as important as much as the fact that he said and had these feelings about me.

We had been waiting for several days to get our vehicle back from the shop because it needed some wheel, cv joint and something else to keep the wheel from falling off as we drive it around town.  I had just stated that I was surprised that we hadn't gotten into a word fight as we often due now that he is so grown up.  He agreed.  He was anxious to get the vehicle back as he was looking forward to going out and seeing some friends.  I received a call that little brother and dad were going to be paying for the vehicle and picking it up later.  I didn't tell my 19 year old.  When he found out, he was surprised that I hadn't told him.

I mentioned to him that the funny thing about social media, I am pretty good at it.  I know the ins and outs of twitter.  I can also read twitter posts that talk about me.

I am hurt by his words but more than that, I am hurt by the fact that he felt that it would be ok to write about me in this manner on a post to his friends.  Not that I was mentioned by my proper name, where anyone could look it up on a search.  But, the name he called me, 'mom' made it hurt even more.

I know kids hurt parents and parents hurt kids all the time, but I had hoped that since he was in college he began to appreciate me and what I do for him.  He decided this year to go vegetarian.  This is hard for someone used to making only one meal and nearly everyone with meat.  Now, the mom in me wants to be able to make sure that this child has enough food to eat that will replace the missing animal protein.  But his attitude towards me is upsetting.  Considering all that I do for him.

Anyways, just made me think of all the great things social media does and aware of the pain social media can cause.  I know it is not on the same degree as some of the bullying young people experience leading to their death, but it still hurts.

Taking Care of Written Word,
dannielyn

Drake University Fraternity Brother Unaware He Was Sexually Assaulted

In Des Moines Iowa at Drake University a fraternity brother realized that he had been sexually assaulted when he saw  images on another fraternity brother's computer.  The images showed he was 'out of it' and being sexually assaulted. He remembered nothing of this act against him and it appeared that he had been drugged while this had happened.  He put the images on a memory card and took the images to the police.   This story is very upsetting to me.  I am from Des Moines and lived close to Drake University.  I think my husband still has our Drake University sweatshirt.  It is upsetting to me for more than that, my oldest son is just days away from heading off to college.  Granted it is not Drake University or any university in Iowa, but he is heading off to the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.   It is upsetting to me as he will be away from home for long periods of time and could be a victim of a random act of violence.  He could be a victim of an act of violence purposed for him.  College is often a time of exploration, alcohol, drugs and stupidity.  This does not mean that my son will partake in the worse case scenario, but I attended college and I know.   Obviously I would want my son to make smart choices that lead him to become accomplished in life in worthy endeavors.  But there is a chance that his roommate, classmates, group mates and others he comes in contact with give him the opportunity to make stupid choices.   There is something remarkable to have the courage to take the images of yourself being sexually assaulted to the police.  To have the courage to take these images you just viewed for the first time before you have time to understand really it yourself is remarkable.   So the lesson is what?  To make good choices that do not allow you to be placed into the position that this young man was in.  Or what it to do the right thing after your find yourself in this type of position?  It is hard to make this young man out to be the bad guy when he was drinking and ingested a drug unintentionally.  It is hard to make this young man out to the bad guy when he was drugged and sexually assaulted.  But it is a mother's responsibility to make sure that your son or daughter know that no matter what 'stupid' thing they may have done that they never deserve to be sexually assaulted.  It is a mother's responsibility to let their child knows that they will be loved and supported no matter what happens.   Taking care of the written word, dannielyn