Last Christmas we moved on
December 17th which meant unpacking the necessities took priority
over unpacking and putting up Christmas decorations including a tree. It was a
humbling year and the move only added to this humbling revelation.
This year, what a year, look at
the highlights that happened before and after a second move in April. Yep, thats
right, we had to move just a few months later, Easter weekend, crazy
I know.
·
A broken collarbone April 12th,
and surgery for our 16 year old April 19th, moved April 22-24th.
·
two broken vertebrae from a
mountain biking accident for my husband on our wedding anniversary May19th
·
a surgery for me in July
·
Our 19-year-old son back in
college for his second year trying to study, work, and pay college expenses due
to less financial aid than the previous year. This despite the economic
condition of our family had not changed from his first year. (Procrastination
on his part for following up on financial stuff, yep, a great lesson learned). He
has car issues, lost car and room keys, and other great things of that nature,
ahh the joys of adulthood. Oh, and he bought a 1972 Volkswagen bug, 4 speed,
which he had to learn how to drive the weekend we moved!!!!
We find the family excited
about our Christmas traditions, again, and more completely than before this
last year. We realized how tenuous our lives and the condition of our family
are.
Andrew collided with another
player during a Lacrosse game and had a horrific break on his collarbone. It
was a jagged break, like a Z in a weird angle. One part of the bone poked the
lining near his lung and the other part of the bone poked the muscle on his
shoulder. He was on major painkillers during that time and cannot remember a
lot of what happened during that time. Wow, but consider Andrew, an independent
child (teenager) who was never really ill or injured now relied for his mom for
everything (again). Food, beverages, pain medication, dressing, undressing,
comfort, love, a sounding board for his pain and anger were now bringing him
back to when he was just an infant needing his mother. I of course was
thrilled. [For all parents of teenagers you know what I mean, the child you
loved so much as a young child suddenly enters puberty and is horrible. He
wants very little from his family and his family not wanting to be around the
hormonal child either. You are grateful he has his room to escape too as you
can also escape from him. Then suddenly the child is a man version of the
little guy you loved so much before puberty]. For us, Andrew’s collarbone was
our version of the prodigal child returning and realizing just how much his
mother loved him and was willing to do all he needed to have done without
holding a grudge for his past behavior. I consider that an incredible gift, one
that I will cherish this Christmas.
Mike struggled with a bit of
guilt over the fact he was away for our anniversary on a mountain biking
camping trip, received a concussion, and fractured vertebrae. He does not
remember his moments of guilt; I believe it was due to the medication he was
on. Yes, three of the four of us had recovery periods on some good painkillers.
However, Mike realized just how much his family relied on him if we could no
longer expect him to do the same things he had always done. This was a
difficult time for me listening to him talk about the next time he goes on the
same path he just crashed on. Of course, this was only a day or two after the
accident and I really wanted him to take a few moments to understand with the accounts
of the crash from eye-witnesses, the bike helmet, and the how he was injured he
was lucky to be alive, walking, and not paralyzed. I will admit, I was not as
understanding of this part of his recovery as I was sitting in the ER on my
anniversary night. He fully recovered and for that, Christmas reminds us of the
gifts we receive throughout the year.
Tony gave me a very special
Mother's Day letter that spoke of his great learning he did in the first year
of college about the sacrifices that I made throughout his life. He realized
that while we may not always agree, there is a love that cannot be broken
between us. A better gift than this I do not know what it could be.
The year was not without other
good things that often find their way into the annual Christmas letter. Andrew
received his driver’s license in June, come December 15th he will be
able to drive past 9 pm and we are all thrilled about that. He was a very
handsome young man in a tuxedo escorting Daphne as part of the homecoming
court. Andrew inducted into the National Honor Society at North Henderson High
School in November. He has a job at a beautiful cinema in Biltmore Park and
works weekends (Friday and Saturday nights), not bad for a 17 year old.
Tony is in his second year of
college at the University of North Carolina Charlotte. He is double majoring in
Political Science and English (Journalism). He is doing really well at school
and does enjoy the experience. Just yesterday (December 16), Tony is 5 credits
from being a Junior. WOW! He is still working for Rue 21, however at the
Charlotte store rather than in Hendersonville. During the summer, he may be
back at the H’ville store, guess it depends if he stays in Charlotte for summer
term. We are very proud of his successes and his growth as an incredible young
man.
Mike is working at All Juice
still and as long as the company remains open. He is often worried that the
company may close the plant, but there are signs of a future (switching to a
new insurance company and upgrading some of the equipment). The good news is
that the insurance company switch will allow us $1200 in new orthodontics
coverage to pay for Andrew’s braces. This is incredible news for our braces (Andrew)
and college (Tony) funds. Mike tries to ride his bike as often as possible, but
possible does not come as often as he hopes.
I am living a quiet life in
Gerton as a freelance writer while the boys 3 are working and/or going to
school. After the first half of the year, I need the quiet life. My freelance
writing is going very well and what a huge relief. I looked back at all the
work I completed since the beginning year and compared the amount of work with
the ‘stuff’ happening in our lives at the time and I am not sure how I found
the time to do all that I did. Yikes, no wonder I felt some stress this year.
We were finally able to get television after
trying Direct TV, Dish Network (second try worked), cable, antennae, and from
Easter weekend in April to beginning of September without any television and
very little options in way of radio. Internet is dial up with the hopes of DSL
next summer. Yes, we are going back in way of technological progress to dial
up, but it is faster than satellite internet and the only option at this time. I
can use my smart phone to tether to my computer for internet access to a second
computer. However, that was only since December 10, 2011. It gets lonely in
Gerton and without out a car during the days, I am at home just the cats and me.
We have three cars, four drivers, one in Charlotte, one driving 30 minutes to
school (one way) and one driving 30 minutes to work (one way). I work from
home, therefore….. This existence in Gerton has taught me many things of which,
how fortunate our family really is.
So, if you think I was trying
to gather feelings of pity from you, it is not the case. I look at what we have
in a new way, not as a list of material things and status in society but as a
way to understand the purpose of why we are a family. I remember the phone
calls, facebook updates, and emails from family and friends and I see that
friends and family too are struggling with the economy, family issues, health,
employment, and contentment. I must admit I am more content now with the
ability to stay connected through television and internet than I was when we
first moved here and struggled obtaining both of them. Nevertheless, as I write
about how our year has gone and focus on joys found in the midst of our trials,
I think that I have been truly blessed this year despite or because of the
struggles we have had.
So this Christmas, the family
is full of joy despite the year of crud we have been through. We are making
only those treats that are special to us and are not trying to match all the
other expectations to top last year or two years ago. We are concentrating on
the experiences rather than the gifts. That does not mean that I did not get
them the coolest gifts, purchased in one day online and from the comfort of my
home office with Christmas music elevating the mood even more. Our family
wishes all of you and yours a year of blessings, strength for when the
blessings are more than you feel you can handle, courage in times of fear, patience
when anxious, contentment in all, and the love of Christ during this Christmas
and in 2012.
Merry Christmas,
Michael, Dannett, Tony, and
Andrew Frey
