Won't Or Will

I was sitting here thinking about what I was going to write about today. I pondered and pondered and then I remembered how much I wanted to start walking everyday. I think about doing it every now and then, but it is always too cold or raining. When it isn't raining or cold, I just don't want to go for a walk.

I am so tired of hearing about how exercise is good for you and feeling horrible when I don't. I am a smart enough person that I know if I would just do it and stop making excuses for myself, I could eliminate the whole horrible feeling stuff.

But I don't or should really say won't.

It's not simply that I don't go for a simple walk. I have reasons why I don't go for walks. The main one is the pain in my hip makes walking even standing and doing my dishes painful for me. So, I don't go for a walk.

But even on a day when my hip isn't hurting at all or as much as it has been, I won't go for a walk. Did you notice, I went back to won't.

WON'T means even if you do not have a reason for not doing something, you will not do it.

Can and can't
Do and don't
Will and won't

I looked up in the dictionary the word "WILL". The mental faculty by which one deliberately chooses or decides upon a course of action; volition. An instance of the exercising of will; choice.

So even when I need to do something I deliberately choose not to do it.

I think that I have the same issues when I am asked by God to do something or even something I am suppose to and I won't do it. It isn't a matter of not being able to do it. I simply won't do it.

How do I change my will so I will do what I should do? How do I look at will in a whole new way?

I am sad to say, it don't know the answer to that. I have been told the answers from the bible and those that have studied this issue, but the answers in my head haven't made too much of a dent in my will. I can only go back to this simple option, prayer.

I am fearful that I will have this prayer answered and I won't like the results. There's that word, won't.

I need to get busy praying right away.