Okay, this may be one of the most asinine issues in my marriage but I have to admit that after 23 years, I am sick of this battle with my husband. My husband is 49 years old. I have known him for 23 years. For all the time that I have known him, he has fallen asleep while watching television and spends his time snoring, waking himself up, shaking his foot, and then repeating the same process over and over and over and 23 years worth of over and over.
Lately, he has begun adding another annoying habit to this sleep, snore, waking, and shaking foot, he bobs his head. He bobs his head as in it falls to the side, he straightens up, falls to the side, straightens up, falls to the side, straightens up and all while he is asleep. Then one great big head fall to the side and he wakes up, covertly checking to see if I noticed and then shakes his foot.
You see, shaking his foot is his tell that he knows he fell asleep and that I am going to be upset about it. And, frankly, I do get upset about the falling asleep. NOT THAT HE FELL ASLEEP, BUT THAT HE WON'T GO TO BED!!!!
My husband likes to believe that if we sit in a room together for 2-3-4 or however many hours watching television this is quality time. I COMPLETELY DISAGREE. It is not quality time. Quality time is communicating or doing something interactive, not watching the television or watching his head bob or trying to hear the television between his snores.
Now, besides being 49 years old (he is the one who thinks he is old), he works a lot of hours at his new job. He has had only about 8 days off since he began working in June of this year. I think 8 may be over stating the actual number but I can't really be sure, it may be closer to 5 or 6. NO LIE!! He also goes to work an hour to one and half hours before he needs too be at work and he works till 7-8pm most nights. One night he worked until 11:30 pm and got up bright and early and did it again.
So, with that said, I understand the man is tired. Got it! But here is the problem, if you are tired GO TO BED! We have a DVR, tape whatever television program you think you want to watch and GO TO BED.
I think it is easier to accept the sleeping if he goes to bed earlier than normal if he is tired than every time I am in the room watching television he falls asleep. It is not because I am watching my obsession RHONJ or some silly crime show, it is while watching a race or game or show he wants to watch.
So, he falls asleep, snores, bobs, wakes up, and shakes his foot every time I am there with him watching television. I have gotten up and walked out of the room many times because he is upset when I tell him to go to bed. I feel like his mother not his wife and he acts like a 2 year old not wanting to go to bed instead of my husband.
So, the reason for this blog post, a wife of a racer, who my husband follows on twitter posts a tweet about how many women are tired of the b/s that they receive from hubby who falls asleep while watching television claiming he was resting his eyes. She was upset about the control of the remote.
Not the exact same situation but the same underlying problem/issue. The husband falling asleep while watching television. So, my husband in his great wisdom (NOT REALLY) tells me about the tweet and believes I will find it hilarious. I don't. It is another wife who has a husband who does not think enough about anyone other than himself to go to bed instead of falling asleep while watching television. Now, here is where the real important point comes in to play.
The wife who may work outside the home, inside the home, or both is sitting with her husband and possibly her children and thinks this is a great time to spend time together interacting. The husband thinks this is a great time to watch television and take a nap. But because they are men, they don't nap. However, every time they sit down to watch television they nap. They fail to see the connection. Television=Nap.
Okay, so there are very few men who sleep in awkward positions they place themselves in while watching television that does not cause snoring to occur. Women see and hear this connection, men do not. They fail to see the connection. Awkward sleeping position while watching television = nap with snoring.
We are talking about the quality of women's lives here. Think about it in this way.
Woman marries Man
Man watches television without talking to woman
Man falls asleep and snores and/or head bobs in front of woman
Woman can leave the room or wake the man up
Woman leaves the room and is not able to spend quality time with man OR
Woman wakes man up so the man can get mad at woman for waking him up when he is simply resting his eyes
The quality of life is horrible for women. In order to spend time with their man she has to sit and watch television with him and watch him sleep and hear him snore. She does something about it and she is the bad person.
All you want to ask is why don't you go to bed if you are tired. It is far less of an insult to the woman to say I am beat, I am going to bed. When a man tells them they want to spend time with them but watches television and falls asleep, really was the woman really required for him to relax and fall asleep.
Sunday night my husband read that tweet that I was suppose to find hilarious (his words) and then fell asleep while watching the show he wanted to watch and snored to high heaven. I woke him up (hey it was almost time for RHONJ) and told him to go to bed. HE GOT MAD AT ME! WHY??????? Because that tweet was his justification for snoring and falling asleep while watching television while I was in the room. OTHER MEN DO IT!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!! Is he really 10 years old?????? Everyone else does it mom, so why can't I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, needless to say, he doesn't not understand three days later why I am so mad. Someone tweets that she is upset with her husbands sleeping/television issues and the only thing he sees is that other men do it and that gives him the go ahead to act like a 2 year old who doesn't want to go to bed.
He fails to see that just because 'everyone else' is doing something that annoys people does not mean that the behavior is acceptable.
He has a television in the bedroom he could watch until he fell asleep. OR he could just go to bed and get better sleep without the lights and sounds affecting his sleep cycle.
He could be a grown up and go to bed without annoying others for 10-45 minutes of snoring and head bobbing.
He could attempt the act of staying awake and communicate with me for a fraction of the time he spends getting ready to nap, I mean watch television.
So, he doesn't see how thinking the tweeter was hilarious and me a witch and getting mad at me, hurt, three days later and he still doesn't get it.
I watch less than 4 hours of television a week. Those shows are all recorded so I can watch them at another time. Each week I try to spend a few hours watching a race with him for that 'quality time' he believes it is. By the way, I hate racing and watching races and listening to the stupid commentary, especially that one that yells everything he says into the microphone Wallace something I think. The best part of watching the race is Jimmie Johnson. But I am loss as what to do to get my husband, 49 years old to be a man and go to bed when he is tired at 9pm, 10pm, or later instead of staying up to 'be with me' and annoy me to death.
So, that's it, just trying to get the point across that women do not like to spend time with their husband, watching television, watching their head bob and hearing their snores and here incredibly stupid excuses instead of just going to bed! If you really want to spend quality time with us......this isn't it.
Taking care of the written word,
dannielyn
